Lunching...

Peli and I like to enjoy a nice lunch out together every once in a while…okay…almost everyday. I was SO much better before she came along. But don’t worry, we have found ways of making it healthy and cost efficient…mostly. The problem is…Peli only likes to go to about 3 places and every time she tries a new place (perhaps a deliciously flavored Thai food), she gags and says “that is Nast!” So I’ve come to the conclusion that she enjoys fettering herself to one post and doesn’t appreciate culture in any form.

The GOOD thing about her lack of variety is that I have found it to be a natural repellent for the vultures that sweep down upon us before we go to get our lunch. If we tell them we are going to Panda, nobody wants us to get them anything. However, in any other scenario, this is generally how the day pans out.

10 am

The Baby: “Where you guys going for lunch today? What should we get? What do you feel like?”

10:15 am

The Baby: “We need to get serious about lunch.”

“Swagger, it’s 10 in the morning. We still have 2 hours before lunch, don’t you ever eat breakfast?”

“No. When are you guys going to the gas station?”

“Bug off.”

11:30

Peli: “Where should we go for lunch today? What do you feel like”

Stork: “Um, let’s see…not Panda, Robin’s Nest, or Quizno’s.”

“What!? I LOVE Quizno’s”

“How about Thai food?”

Gagging sound.

Enter Sunshine:  “HELL-OO my lovely LAY-dies! What shall we have for lunch today.”

First of all…is that the only thing we can think about!? One track minds.

When it is finally decided and we have agreed upon a place the Baby will come up and say “where are you going? Will you get me this? Here’s my card”

Que Sqeaky: “Oooh! Can you get me something too?”

And of course, My Little Pony, “Where are you going? Can you get me this?”

As we walk away with post-it notes full of lunch orders we hear the Baby call after us, “And if you stop at the gas station on your way back can you get me a large fountain of Co—? ” Door swings shut, and we pretend we didn’t hear, and we birds brave the nasty weather to go and get everybody elses lunch on top of our own. Yee haw.

At first it wasn’t so bad…but after so much investment and no return, we started getting a little sneakier with our lunch occasions.  We found out that Squeaky’s feeling would get hurt, My Little Pony would rage “oh, thanks for asking me what I wanted!!” and Swagger would just shake his head. But Sunshine DEFINITELY does not like being left out of the scenario.

Monday. Peli and I snuck out successfully and got our lunch, waded thru the crocodile tears, the head shake and the guilt trip. And then Sunshine came to us in his pouty reverie, extremely sad that he had been left out.

Tuesday we were in the process of sneaking out when all of the sudden Peli saw Sunshine notice we were leaving without him again. From all the way across the sales floor we saw him put on his angry eyes looking a little bit like this:

Peli turned to me in slow motion and said “R-U-N!” (in the really low-sounding slow motion voice and we both booked it out the door as he started running toward us like this:

Only I’m pretty sure his eyes were red.  We dashed across the parking lot as fast as we could as he busted through the door sprinting right after us. We were trying to make it to my car before he could catch us (it’s a LONG parking lot)—all the while feeling like he could swoop down upon our necks and tear us apart at any moment. We barely made it to my car when he opened up the back door and dove into the back seat as emphatically as he could. Out of breath he called us “Poo Heads”  as we laughed so hard I thought my liver was coming thru my ribs. He figured out that he didn’t want lunch where we were going so he had run in vain. His response: “Oh, okay, cool. Well, I thought we were friends. And thanks for asking. And you just go ahead and have a nice lunch. I hate you both.” He walked away and we drove out of the parking lot still panting with laughter from our near death experience. Such a comedian. Does that fact that he’s “Chocolate” colored make it any funnier? It does for me. Still laughing.